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Ouch....


A man had been in a terrible car accident, and woke up in the hospital. Looking around, he noticed a doctor leaning over his bed. "Jesus doc," the man exclaimed, "what happened. Where am I." 

The doctor replied "You have been in a bad car accident, and you're in the hospital, but don't worry, you're going to be all right. The bad news is that we had to amputate your right arm, above the elbow." 

"Oh no," the man screamed. "I'd rather be dead. I can't go through life without my arm. Please doc, kill me. I can't go on like this........" 

"Now son," said the doctor, "with the miracles of modern medicine today, we can give you a Bionic Arm. Only costs one million dollars, and it looks and works just like the real thing. Nobody will ever know it's not  your own arm." 

"Yeah, great," the man groaned. "And where the hell am I gonna get a million bucks. I'm better off dead." 

"Hang on now," said the doctor. "We've been looking for a case like yours for a while now. We just came up with a new arm. For only ten thousand dollars, you can have it. It looks just like the more expensive one, but the only difference is that this one has a small microphone built into it, and you have to TELL the arm what to do. Other than that, it works just like the other one." 

"Well," the guy says, "I can probably afford ten grand. Go ahead, sew it on." 

The next day, the guy woke up in the same bed, and saw the doctor leaning over him again. "Well, doc, how did it go? Is everything all right?" 

"We think that the operation was a success," replied the surgeon, "but you will have to try it out, and let us know if there are any problems with it." 

Later on in the day, the guy was lying in bed, practicing with his new arm. "Lift up," he commanded. The arm lifted up. "Move right." The arm moved to the right. "Move left." The arm moved to the left. Everything seemed to be working without a hitch, and he was really pleased. All of a sudden, he had the urge to go to the bathroom. 

He hopped out of bed, and proceeded into the john. "Arm, reach down and undo my zipper." The arm obeyed. "Take out my Wang." The arm obeyed flawlessly. The guy had his leak, and when he was done, he commanded, "Shake it." The arm gave it a little shake. "No, shake it harder!" The arm gave it a good shake. "Hey," the guy said, "that feels pretty good......jerk it off." 

(Ouch....)

Redlight

Boy: Let’s play the firetruck game.
Girl: How do we play?
Boy: I run my fingers up your leg, and you say “Redlight” when you want me to stop.
Girl: Okay 
*Few seconds later*
Girl: Redlight!!!
Boy: Firetrucks don’t stop for redlights 

Life of Pi

The Director of movie 'Life of Pi', is planning 3 movies in India.


The first movie, casting Salman Khan, Vivek Oberoi and Abhishek Bachchan is titled.. 'Life Of Rai'


The Second, casting Shiny Ahuja, is ' Life Of Bai'



The Third, casting Sunny Leone is called 'Life On Char Pai' !!😜😃

सौ गुना बढ़ जाती है खूबसूरती

सौ गुना बढ़ जाती है खूबसूरती,

महज़ मुस्कराने से

फिर भी बाज नही आते लोग,

गान्ड़ सा मुँह बनाने से ।।

गांड फाड़ Joke


गली में जाते हुए भिखारी ने आवाज़ लगायी, भाभी जी, रोटी मिलेगी?

अंदर से आवाज़ आयी: बीवी घर पर नहीं है।

.

..

...

....

भिखारी: चूत नहीं मांगी मादरचोद, रोटी तो तू भी दे सकता है।



😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Loyalty Tests of men... Joke of the 2015

Test 1:

Wife buys 12 underwears of same colour for hubby.


Hubby- Why same colour sweetheart. people will think I never change my underwear.

Wife- Which people


Total silence...

😐😐😐



Test 2:

A couple sees a hot girl.

Wife: So big, aren't they?

Husband: Yes

Wife: Are they artificial?

Husband: I think natural.

Wife: Ear-rings & Natural??


Total Silence 😐😐😐



Test 3:

Men will always be Men -



Once a group of men decided to go for Tirth Yatra. Their guide explained to them that they might see some ladies bathing in open and they should not get distracted at all. When they see anything like that, they should just say HARI OM and move on. Next day they started the yatra and one of the men in the group said- "HARI OM" and rest of them said- "KIDHAR HAI, KIDHAR HAI!" 😆

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myself a fresh thinking person.
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WHY FUTURES TRADERS LOSS MONEY IN MARKET ?.

Posted on December 29, 2007 at 1:25am 0 Comments



Why Future Traders Loss Money In market?.



this topic is to discuses the Future Trading in market.



Imagine this: you bought Reliance Petroleum (RPL) shares at Rs 280 thinking it would climb to Rs 300.



Instead it falls to Rs 210. So, you sell the shares thinking it will further fall to Rs 180. But the next day it

shoots up to Rs 220.…


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"K N O W L E D G E" and "P A T I E N C E" are the key success to Share market

Posted on December 18, 2007 at 6:18am 1 Comment

In INDIA, people generally relate to stock market as “EASY MONEY” or “SATTA BAZAAR”. For them it’s purely a GAME or matter of sheer LUCK and nothing more than that. But seldom do they know, by following certain PRINCIPLES and taking INFORMED decision, this same platform has the power to take them from rags to riches. No doubt, it has a certain amount of RISK attached to it. But every business or investment has it. What more, the Finance…

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At 3:33am on November 21, 2009, hookking said…
"Climate change links of london Necklaces needs to be addressed now. The poor will bear the brunt of the impacts. The frontline experience of many of us ed hardy bags working in international development indicates that communities are having to combat more extreme links london Necklace weather conditions." Climate ed hardy sunglasses change will play havoc with agriculture and water supplies and will increase diseases. "By 2025 the ed hardy purses proportion of the world's population living in countries of significant water stress will almost links of london friendship bracelets double, to 6 billion people. Tropical and ed hardy t shirts sub-tropical areas will be hardest abercrombie Polos hit - those countries already suffering from food insecurity".
At 5:50am on December 30, 2007, TRAVEL said…
Wishing you and your loved ones peace, health, happiness and prosperity in the coming New Year.
At 5:42am on December 27, 2007, TRAVEL said…
Hi Praveen.
 
 
 

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